My heart went out to Sheryl Gascoigne on Monday night when I watched her heart breaking documentary ‘Surviving Gazza’ on Channel 4.  She and her 3 children, Mason, Bianca and Regan, allowed a documentary film crew into their home and their lives to document their reunion with Paul Gascoigne as he emerged from his latest spell in rehab at the famous Priory clinic.

Sadly the reunion was short lived and Paul left the house after just 2 weeks to embark on a massive drinking binge that took him all over Europe as he hitched up with heavy metal band, Iron Maiden of all people.  When a heavy metal band’s manager is concerned that someone is drinking too much then you know they are really in trouble.

Throughout his absence Paul’s ex wife Sheryl and his children allowed themselves to be filmed as they received abusive and heartbreaking phonecalls at all hours of the night and day.  While the whole experience was dreadful for the poor kids, who have had to watch their father drift deeper and deeper into alcoholism and associated severe mental illness, including paranoid delusions and obsessive/compulsive behaviour, it is Sheryl I feel most strongly for.

As a parent myself I can only begin to imagine the heartbreak that she must have gone through being unable to sheild her children from a violent drunk, who showed little if any regard for his family’s feelings or well being. During filming Sheryl came to the realisation that she could no longer help Paul and that in fact she was in some ways perpetuating his behaviour by allowing him back into her life. Her acts of kindness, trying to help him, gave him validation and sent a signal to him that it is alright to behave in this way.  All the while Sheryl and her children’s lives were placed on hold as they danced attendance on Paul.  Once Sheryl woke up to this she was forced to make a dreadfully difficult decision, to cut Paul out of her life and have no more to do with him.  The Gascoigne children, aged from 12 to 19, wanted desperately to keep trying to reach out to their father, despite his blatant disregard for them.  Poor Sheryl had to stand by and watch her children do battle with powerful emotions and internal struggles, but could do nothing to aid them through it other than offer love and support.

With the aid of an addiction counsellor the children were able to work through their issues with their father and eventually came to a mutual decision, to offer Gazza an ultinatum.  Get help or lose us forever.

Again Sheryl was a rock for her children and offered them all the support emotionally that she could as they made their way to Portugal and tracked the errant Gazza down to a hotel room where he was eventually found, drunk and ill and incoherent. Ultinatum delivered and answered with a torrent of abuse, Sheryl helped her children come to terms with what has amounted to the loss of their father and remained strong for them despite the obvious pain that she must be going through on their behalf. To have to watch your children going through such emotional turmoil, grief and pain, would be more than I could bear.

For the strength and courage she has given her children in the face of a dreadful situation I applaud Sheryl and wish her all the very best for a Gazza free future.

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