Witchling 10    ‘Are you wearing your uppy bums today mummy?’
Moi                  ‘Err, no. Not today.’
Witchling 10    ‘I won’t wear uppy bums when I get grown up’
Moi                  ‘Really? And why is that?’
Witchling 10    ‘They’re all itchy and like string up your bottom! I will wear sensible pants.’

At 7.30am on a Monday morning, this can [...]

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