Parent Gossip

There is a fine line to be drawn between being a great parent, interested and excited by your child’s life, and an over protective ‘helicopter’ parent, hovering around over the child, never giving them a moment’s peace. It is great to advocate for your child but there comes a point when you have to let go of the reins a little and let them make their own decisions and mistakes. This is the only way that they can hope to learn the skills that they will need to survive the knocks and be able to care for themselves as adults.
As long as there have been parents, there have been helicopter parents. It seems only natural to want to shield your child from pain or emotional harm. Pressure from society and the media plays a big part in inspiring helicopter parents. They want to raise the ideal child from conception to university graduation and beyond. The fact is we simply cannot take that amount of control over our children’s lives without damaging them in the long run. Children will not mature well if they are subject to unbending criticism and unrealistic demands from parents.
By my own shameful admission, I am a helicopter parent. Here are my resolutions for this new school year to try to break the hovering tendancies I have picked up and still remain a good mum to The Witchlings.
1. I will discuss The Witchlings’ problems with them, but I will encourage them to come up with solutions for themselves. They will learn and grow by problem solving with support.
2. I will avoid conflict over marks, discipline, or quarrels with buddies or siblings.
3. I will not do my Witchlings’ homework. Giving them the answers or doing the work myself is counter-productive. My role in their homework should be to give them space and a quiet calm environment in which to get on and learn for themselves.
4. I will not speak ill of the schools or team coaches that The Witchlings are subject to. Even if I do think that they are wrong!
5. The Witchlings will take responsibility for their actions and live with the consequences. If the Swimming kit is lost on Monday morning I will NOT be flying out to Tesco to but a new costume and swimming cap. Witchling 10 – You have been warned!
6. I will steer clear of charging into school like an enraged floral bull if I think that either of my Witchlings is being bullied. Instead, I will help them to come up with an action plan for themselves and will only contact eh school directly if I fear that they are in danger.
7. I will remind myself that it is my task to prepare The Witchlings for adult life. This means exposing them to life and letting them find their own path. It is NOT my task to live vicariously through them.
So there you have it. My 7 step plan for overcoming the Helicopter Syndrome! I wish all other recovering Helicopter mums (and dads) happy flying!