Discipline means different things to different people. For many it means punishment. But when you are a parent of a pre-teen kid it is important to do more than just punish for bad behaviour and crossing boundaries.

Discipline is not just about telling people what to do. It is about helping children to learn about consequences. This is the way in which children learn family and society values.

Shaping our childrens behavour is about getting them to do what we need them to do and to learn right from wrong. We also help them to find the right behaviour to get what they need from other people without upsetting anyone.

So when your pre-teen is acting in an uosetting way and behaving badly it is important to act quickly to avoid it escalating. It’s important to focus on the behaviour in these situations rather than on your child as an individual. Tell them what you are feeling and what you need. Don’t tell them how useless they are for not doing the right thing without being told what that is. But focus on the bahaviour and not on them as a person.So here are some tips.

Tips

  • Make your goal to help rather than punish.
  • Be clear and tell your pre-teen what you need them to do, and why.
  • Steer clear from negative words and name calling. You don’t want to damage your pre-teen’s fragile self esteem. They are hardly likely to modify their behaviour to do what you want if they feel that they aren’t ever going to get it right.
  • When your pre-teen does something good, praise them! appreciate every little positive thing and pile on the praise. You’ll be rewarded yourself with even more good behaviour.
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