Temper Tantrums start from around 18 months to 2 years and are extremely common.  The seeds of the classic temper tantrum lie in frustration. Very small children do not have the vocabulary that they need to be able to communicate with the world and make their opinions heard.  The good news is that they often die out by around 4 years when your child will be able to tell you more clearly what is upsetting them. They are a perfectly normal part of making the transition from baby to toddler and then child. Tantrums don’t normally lead to behavioural problems in later life. But in the meantime, here are the Parent Gossip top tips for dealing with a temper tantrum.

  • Stay calm. This is often easier said than done when your daughter is having a fully fledged temper tantrum in the middle of Tesco. However it is important to remember that getting cross and yelling back at your child will only make the situation worse.
  • Tantrums are most likely to occur when your child is tired or hungry, or is uncomfortable.  Take some time out if possible and allow your child to have a little snack and a rest. Often a cuddle will be enough to soothe an anxious child uncomfortable in their surroundings.
  • Find a distraction. Busy and noisy places are classic temper tantrum minefields.  Find something to interest your child so that they are distracted from their immediate surroundings.
  • Saying ‘No’ to a 2 year old who is crying and banging their head on the wall can be daunting.  BUT it is vital that if your child is tantruming because you have said no, you have to stick to your guns. Giving in to calm down the situation and appease your child will send a message that tantrums work. Positive parenting means remembering who the adult is in this relationship. Don’t give in.
  • On the other hand, try looking at things from your child’s perspective.  This may help you to understand what your 18 month old son actually wants! It will also allow you to offer them a choice. Simply saying ‘No’ is sometimes not enough. Offer your child a positive way out of the tantrum so that they retain a little toddler dignity and some control.  This will help them build the foundations for being able to negotiate for things they want in later life.
  • Keep shopping trips and outings short and have plenty of little breaks to avoid over-tiring your child.
  • Tantrums that happen at home are somewhat easier to deal with than those in public. Ignore them. This is simple to say, but is a little harder to do if your child is screaming the house down. Leave your child in a safe place and if possible, walk away into a different room. MAKE SURE YOUR CHILD IS NOT IN ANY PHYSICAL DANGER.
  • Give your child chance to calm down before trying to talk rationally and calmly about what happened and what they want.  Raising your voice or scolding at this point will only start things off again.
  • Once your child has calmed down and settled the chances are that they will still be upset, even if the immediate cause of the tantrum has been removed.  Now is the time for a big hug and plenty of reassurance that you still love them even if they have just thrown all of their toys down the stairs and kicked you in the leg.
  • Use positive parenting. Heap tons of praise onto your child for calming down.  This will help them grow out of the temper tantrum phase a lot quicker.